The one where we catch up

Hi. It's been a while.
Man, you look great.
Sorry I haven't complained about anything to you for so long. I will try to catch you up to all the wonderful and exciting stuff that has been going on in my life as of late.

Very little.

My Lovely Wife™ and I spent the Memorial Day Weekend mostly on our hands and knees in our yard. My garden now boasts green peppers, tomatoes, assorted herbs and spices, and a patch of mystery gourds: the result of my throwing a rotting bucket of Thanksgiving Day centerpiece offal into the planter as fertilizer and watching it go nuts.

I also got a path laid out from my back porch to my garden and it is pine-bark-a-fied. Progress has never looked so square!

My Lovely Wife™ spent her time in the front yard digging and weeding and setting up our front beds to look nice and proper. While doing so, she slathered suntan lotion on every visible inch of her body... except for her lower back. Fun fact about My Lovely Wife™: when she works, she looks like a sexy plumber... complete with an exposed lower back and a pretty impressive view of whatever panties she happens to be wearing that day.

After four hours in the sun, she has earned a pretty ridiculous-looking sunburn. It looks like two parenthesis if they were sideways. Turn your head and look at this: ( ) ... now picture it being cooked-lobster red and right above My Lovely Wife's shapely fanny.

She's in a lot of pain. I think it's hilarious. Mostly because I'm a jerk.

The up-side? I get to smear aloe and lotion all over my wife's butt about 6 times a day. EVERYBODY WINS!

In other news, there IS no other news. See why I haven't written? My life is too boring for you to be interested in.

Now kindly stop thinking about My Lovely Wife™'s lower back.