The Joaquin Phoenix Thing

Knock it off.

I'm talking to YOU. You are sitting there at your computer and you are reading this because you are interested in discussing The Joaquin Phoenix Thing. You want to talk about how he is melting down in public, how he has lost grip with reality, and how he's all "crazy" now. "Wha the hell is goin' on?! Mabel! Come lookit this! That feller who done the Johnny Cash is nuts! Look!"

No he hasn't. He's fine. This isn't a hoax or a ruse... it's more of a gambit. And he wants you to get all "goon show" about it. Let's discuss.

Of course I suppose that by discussing it, blogging about it, debating it and watching and re-watching it on YouTube is providing exactly the kind of publicity that Joaquin Phoenix is hoping to gain with his spate of recent stunts in public. The Beast gets fed no matter what. That's not the point of this writing.

The point of this writing is intended to discourage the public from engaging at this particular time in the schadenfreude of watching a celebrity experience a meltdown. Because he's probably not.

For the uninformed, I will briefly explain the situation.

A few months ago, a haggard-looking Phoenix gave a red-carpet speech to a reporter where he publicly announced he was no longer going to pursue acting. Instead, he was interested in developing his musical career. The reporter naturally took it with a grain of salt, which was exactly what Phoenix was looking for, so he used it as an excuse to walk away in disgust (but only after flashing the words "good" and "bye" backwards on his knuckles) and acting like 'yeah, I expected as much' from his interviewer.

His publicist confirmed it the next day, which gave the Media a happy little celebrity news blip. And then the public promptly forgot about it, because nobody gives a shit about Joaquin Phoenix. Except, of course, for Joaquin Phoenix.

A couple of weeks ago, another video clip surfaced on the web; this time it was footage of a very furry and stiff-looking Phoenix appearing on stage in Las Vegas, where he was attempting to perform a hip hop song. Naturally, he makes a fool of himself but refuses to acknowledge that anything off-kilter is occurring. Even after prat-falling on his ass.

Last night Joaquin Phoenix appeared on national television on Letterman, where the self-indulgent and only marginally-talented actor decided to act as if he was above being interviewed, and more than that, acted as if he wasn't all-there. The chances that you have seen the clip, either when it aired or almost immediately afterwards on about 50 websites, are huge. I won't go into details other than to say that he went above and beyond in his attempts to make something out of nothing. Pay attention to how he responds when Dave slices into him. Letterman has an inkling of what's going on here, and he isn't impressed. A guy who is that far-removed from reality wouldn't break out in a smile and attempt to shift the focus back to distant melancholy the way that Phoenix does. Letterman jokes that he owed an apology to Farrah Faucet, but at least Faucet stayed in character.

I could be very wrong about this. There just might be a chance that Joaquin Phoenix is legitimately unhappy with his lifestyle and that he wants to center himself back into a personal, non-superficial reality. But I doubt it. There are two reasons why I doubt it...

Kristen Stewart appeared on Letterman a couple of months ago. The attractive and down-to-Earth actress has publicly admitted being bedazzled by the amount of attention she has received for starring in the teen-heartthrob-laden TWILIGHT. During her interview you witnessed a young woman who was uncomfortable with the superficiality and distanced-from-reality world she has been in, and while avoiding eye contact and actually taking moments to think about answers that Letterman was asking her about- she managed to come across as someone who is unhappy with the accolades and attention. The interview wasn't awkward as much as it was steeped in a more direct and non-bullshit-laden tone. Dave even seemed impressed at her capacity and honesty.

I mention her in full-knowledge that as of late, Stewart has been exposed by the press as a pot-smoking hippie stoner-girl who might not serve as a role-model for young women who are flocking to see her get seduced by a diamond-shiny vampire in a shitty Hollywood movie.

With that comes even MORE reason to believe that a person under the influence of narcotics is able to function when he or she is asked to participate in a televised interview.

The second reason I have for believing that Joaquin Phoenix is making the choice to act like a spoiled brat instead of being genuinely affected: the mere fact that he appeared on the show AT ALL.

After the weeks and weeks of booking, agents, publicists, pre-show rehearsals, discussion-point cards and everything else, only a guy with an AGENDA to act like a compete and utter tool would be able to actually appear on a show and get away with acting the way that he did.

I'm not saying that Letterman himself was in on it. He certainly didn't act like he was, and he fabulously refused to play into any of Pheonix's attempts to derail the moment. It was a prime example of "I think I see what's going on here and I don't think you have the stones to pull it off, buddy."

All in all, the consensus with doubters seems to be that if this IS a stunt that is being perpetrated for the purposes of a mockumentary, it's not going very well. And in addition, I would go as far as to say that it is a fucking waste of time and talent to even try to pull this off. It's been done before, and by smarter participants.