THE TV-DINNERAMA UPDATE!

It's already March 4! That means it is DAY FOUR of the:

So let's take a look at how we are doing so far!

...
... ...
... ... ...

I quit.



I really want to impress upon you how much I was looking forward to the


... I bought stuff. I designed graphics. I made templates. I cleaned the TV room up.

What I did NOT anticipate was that I would be out of town for the first two days of March. Furthermore, I didn't pause to consider the quality of the food I was about to exclusively consume for 31 straight days.

Here's what went down last night:

My first day back home! And time to belly up to the Banquets!

I walked into my kitchen late last night and opened the fridge, anticipating a GREAT kickoff to the


... And there was the first contender of the month: A Banquet Chicken Fried Beef Steak Meal.

I'm a fan of chicken-fried steaks and chicken, don't get me wrong. But something in the presentation of the meal started to turn my stomach. Before I opened the box I flipped the thing over and decided to educate myself as to how to prepare my evening supp.


Unpackage. Heat for 4 minutes. Stir. CONTENTS MUST BE THOROUGHLY COOKED!

Somewhere between holding the clammy, thin, cardboard packaging and reading that if I didn't let the whole thing sit for 2 minutes after cooking it (in order to maintain proper heating throughout), my body started to tell me that it wasn't hungry at all.

It went on to tell me that even if I waited for a long, long time, it would not be hungry for this food. My body even made a special effort to assure me that if I was starving to death, it would need at least a six-pack of beer and a hail-mary pass before it would consider letting me put this in it.

Considering that this was coming from the same stomach that sometimes orders me to consume 2 dozen chicken wings and a half-rack of ribs on a Wednesday night, I decided it meant business.

Hence:


... I had a salad.

Fuck it.