Taco-Bot

Need proof that America is getting dumber? Read on:

I made a January resolution to not eat at Taco Bell or McDonald's for a year. Both are close to work, and both make me feel terrible after I indulge.

So far, avoiding The Bastard Scottish Clown hasn't been that difficult. I crave a McNugget once and a while, but I am able to stave it off. But the flesh is weak, and Chicken Ranchero Soft Tacos with Fire sauce is strong.

What the hell. I went to Taco Bell, thinking about how it's not so bad to give in to temptation once and a while, as long as I don't make a pig out of myself.

Picture the following scene: I drive up to the drive-thru 25 minutes ago. I am behind another car. they order and move on. My turn.

"Hello, welcome to blahdie blah, can I blah your blah"

"Hi." (this is me...) "Can I have a number two with a Pepsi?"

I always order a number two, because that's what Taco Bell gives me anyway.

They give me a total and I pull around.

Now keep in mind that I haven't been to The Border in a few months. So for a second or two after what happens actually transpires, I am thinking that things might be different... that what I am experiencing might be 'normal'.

I pull up to the window, hand them my card, and they give me my drink. Then they hand my card back to me.

"Want any hot or mild sauce?" Asks the sleepy-eyed, slightly slack-jawed minimum-wage-earning Slipknot Fan in the window.

I ask for hot sauce. A moment later they give it to me.

On a tray.

The dude hands me a plastic Taco Bell tray, complete with paper placemat. My items are placed side-by-side next to three packs of hot sauce (in a new, purple packet).

So I take the tray and look puzzled. Nickleback says "Thank you" and I drive away from the window.

WITH A TACO BELL TRAY IN MY HAND.

Now like I said, because I haven't been doing The Bell for a while, for a moment or two I was thinking that maybe this is normal. I seem to recall seeing a few commercials for new 'platter' meals from La Casa Del Taco.

But no... this is an actual 'for here' tray. In my lap. From the drive-through. Something is wrong.

I parked and walked inside. "Keri"... the manager on duty, asks me if she can help me when I approach the counter with my TRAY of food.

"Yeah, Hi. Um... is this normal? I got this tray in the drive-thru."

"They gave you a tray?"

"Yeah. I mean... um..."

"Yeah, sorry, I will take that."

She put my food in a bag and told me to have a good day. My mind continues to be blown.

Then, a few moments ago, it all made perfect sense to me.

See, when they hand me my card back... when ANYONE hands me my card back, I put it in my wallet, and I fold my receipt and put THAT in there, too. Just for kicks, I pulled out the receipt.

It says 'DINE-IN' on the top, instead of 'TO-GO' or 'DRIVE-THRU'.

So for all I can figure, what we have here is a case of a guy who was just following orders. He was following them EXACTLY as written. When a customer is DINING IN... give 'em a tray.

Unbelievable.